be positive – Living Well While Surviving Cancer

Insights on Friendship

Be a friend indeed to someone in need.

Want to be a great friend? Check out this article from Emma Pattee, writing for the NY Times. Then, read the inspiring story after that.

“If you want closer friendships, the first step is to decide you’re going to do something about it. ‘We think about relationships as things that happen to us, but the truth is that we make them happen,’ psychologist Dr. Sue Johnson said. Getting closer to your existing friends requires making the time and being intentional.”

“Before we can attempt closeness, we need to have security. Through his research, Dr. Amir Levine (a psychiatrist and a neuroscientist) has identified the five foundational elements of secure relationships, which he refers to as CARRP.”

- - - Consistency (Do these friends drift in and out of my life on a whim?)
    - Availability (How available are they to spend time together?)
    - Reliability (Can I count on them if I need something?)
    - Responsiveness (Do they reply to my emails and texts? Do I hear from them on a consistent basis?)
    - Predictability (Can I count on them to act in a certain way?)

Click the image to read a lot more from Pattee.

Insights on Friendship — **Image by Jan Robert Dünnweller**

A Terrific Story of an Act of Kindness

Good deeds sometimes get recognized in a big way. Consider this heartwarming story. As reported by Alexandra Deabler for Fox News:

“A Denny’s waitress is feeling very thankful after a generous couple of diners gifted her a car.

“Adrianna Edwards of Galveston, Texas, used to walk 14 miles a day to get to her job at the diner chain. The entire journey took her more than four hours. ‘You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do,’ Edwards said to KTRK of her long trek.”

“Edwards was in the process of saving to buy a car when a kind couple took matters into their own hands. The pair, who reportedly requested to remain anonymous, visited the restaurant last Tuesday morning for breakfast. It was then they learned of Edwards’ long trips to and from work each day.”

“After eating their meal, the couple left. Only to return hours later with the surprise of a lifetime — a 2011 Nissan Sentra they had just purchased, KTRK reports. The couple was happy to help Edwards out, but requested that she pay it forward to others in need, which the woman has said she intends on doing.”

We Wish You a Happy and HEALTHY Thanksgiving

Here are several special Thanksgiving Day wishes.

See the visual quotes below. For additional inspiration, click here.

Feeling Down, Watch This Video

Here’s a quick pick-me-upper. Enjoy.

When we’re feeling down, we need something that will make us chuckle.

Here is a very fun video featuring a little kitten who runs on the beach and swims. The kitten is adorable. And the video will give you a short reprieve from what is troubling you.

Alone Time May Be Good

Sometimes, we may benefit from time by ourselves.

In this blog, we have talked a lot about the value of our community. As well as socialization.

For example, look at these two posts: Social Interactions and Our Health. And We Are NOT Alone.

Now, we consider the benefits of sometimes being alone. Yes, we can be both a socializer and also pursue some alone time.

As Micaela Marini Higgs observes for the NY Times:

“Being lonely hurts. It can even negatively impact your health. But the mere act of being alone doesn’t have to be bad. In fact, experts say it can even benefit your social relationships, improve your creativity and confidence, and help you regulate your emotions so that you can better deal with adverse situations.”

“An online survey called The Rest Test showed that the majority of activities people defined as most restful are things that are done solo.”

“Despite the social stigma and apprehension about spending time alone, it’s something our bodies crave. Similar to how loneliness describes being alone and wanting company, ‘aloneliness’ can be used to describe the natural desire for solitude, Dr. Robert Coplan [a developmental psychologist and professor of psychology at Carleton University] said. Since we’re not used to labeling that feeling, it can easily be confused for, and feed into, other feelings like anxiety, exhaustion, and stress, especially since ‘we might not know that time alone is what we need to make ourselves feel better,’ Dr. Coplan added.”

Click the image to read a lot more from Higgs.

Alone Time May Be Good — **Image Credit: Filip Fröhlich**

Podcasts to Help You Relax

How to chill out. 🙂

Being able to relax should be an essential part of our quest to be as healthy as possible. With this in mind, we turn to the AAA for several appropriate podcast links:

To read more from Sarah Hopkins’ tips for AAA, click the image.

The Value of Kindness

Being kind benefits YOU.

Kindness not only benefits the recipient. It also is beneficial to the provider. Including health-wise.

Consider this podcast from Knowledge@Wharton:

Can kindness, love, and a strong sense of community actually make you healthier and happier? Research says that it does. A 1978 study looking at the link between high cholesterol and heart health in rabbits determined that kindness made the difference between a healthy heart and a heart attack.

Kelli Harding, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, revisits that research and other ground-breaking discoveries in her new book, The Rabbit Effect: Live Longer, Happier, and Healthier with the Groundbreaking Science of Kindness. She joined the Knowledge@Wharton radio show on Sirius XM to talk about the intangible factors behind good health and how a little kindness can go a long way.

Do NOT Say This to a Person in Pain

FIFTEEN tips to be more thoughtful.

Speaking from personal experience, I have had people say various hurtful things. Or things that are not helpful. Often unintentionally.

For example, as Linda Esposito notes for US News & World Report:

“People with chronic pain have heard it all – over and over. Acquaintances say, ‘You look fine to me,’ or ask, ‘Why aren’t you better yet?’ Doctors and nurses advise, ‘There comes a point when you must accept a new normal.'”

“For someone coping with continual pain, possibly for years, none of this is necessarily original or helpful. You may know someone with chronic pain and just not be sure what to say. Read on as people living with pain share their biggest pet peeve remarks from family, friends, and health care providers – and suggest more thoughtful, supportive comments.”

Click the image to learn FIFTEEN things not to say.