Insights on Friendship

Be a friend indeed to someone in need.

Want to be a great friend? Check out this article from Emma Pattee, writing for the NY Times. Then, read the inspiring story after that.

“If you want closer friendships, the first step is to decide you’re going to do something about it. ‘We think about relationships as things that happen to us, but the truth is that we make them happen,’ psychologist Dr. Sue Johnson said. Getting closer to your existing friends requires making the time and being intentional.”

“Before we can attempt closeness, we need to have security. Through his research, Dr. Amir Levine (a psychiatrist and a neuroscientist)  has identified the five foundational elements of secure relationships, which he refers to as CARRP.”

        • Consistency (Do these friends drift in and out of my life on a whim?)

        • Availability (How available are they to spend time together?)

        • Reliability (Can I count on them if I need something?)

        • Responsiveness (Do they reply to my emails and texts? Do I hear from them on a consistent basis?)

        • Predictability (Can I count on them to act in a certain way?)

Click the image to read a lot more from Pattee.

Insights on Friendship
Image by Jan Robert Dünnweller

A Terrific Story of an Act of Kindness

Good deeds sometimes get recognized in a big way. Consider this heartwarming story. As reported by Alexandra Deabler for Fox News:

“A Denny’s waitress is feeling very thankful after a generous couple of diners gifted her a car.

“Adrianna Edwards of Galveston, Texas, used to walk 14 miles a day to get to her job at the diner chain. The entire journey took her more than four hours. ‘You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do,’ Edwards said to KTRK of her long trek.”

“Edwards was in the process of saving to buy a car when a kind couple took matters into their own hands. The pair, who reportedly requested to remain anonymous, visited the restaurant last Tuesday morning for breakfast. It was then they learned of Edwards’ long trips to and from work each day.”

“After eating their meal, the couple left. Only to return hours later with the surprise of a lifetime — a 2011 Nissan Sentra they had just purchased, KTRK reports. The couple was happy to help Edwards out, but requested that she pay it forward to others in need, which the woman has said she intends on doing.”

Insights on Friendship
Adrianna Edwards of Galveston, Texas, used to walk 14 miles a day to get to her job at the diner chain before a couple gifted her a 2011 Nissan Sentra. (KTRK / KHOU)

 

Feeling Down, Watch This Video

Here’s a quick pick-me-upper. Enjoy.

When we’re feeling down, we need something that will make us chuckle.

Here is a very fun video featuring a little kitten who runs on the beach and  swims. The kitten is adorable. And the video will give you a short reprieve from what is troubling you.


 

Alone Time May Be Good

Sometimes, we may benefit from time by ourselves.

In this blog, we have talked a lot about the value of our community. As well as socialization.

For example, look at these two posts: Social Interactions and Our Health. And We Are NOT Alone.

Now, we consider the benefits of sometimes being alone. Yes, we can be both a socializer and also pursue some alone time.

As Micaela Marini Higgs observes for the NY Times:

“Being lonely hurts. It can even negatively impact your health. But the mere act of being alone doesn’t have to be bad. In fact, experts say it can even benefit your social relationships, improve your creativity and confidence, and help you regulate your emotions so that you can better deal with adverse situations.”

“An online survey called The Rest Test showed that the majority of activities people defined as most restful are things that are done solo.” 

“Despite the social stigma and apprehension about spending time alone, it’s something our bodies crave. Similar to how loneliness describes being alone and wanting company, ‘aloneliness’ can be used to describe the natural desire for solitude, Dr. Robert Coplan [a developmental psychologist and professor of psychology at Carleton University] said. Since we’re not used to labeling that feeling, it can easily be confused for, and feed into, other feelings like anxiety, exhaustion, and stress, especially since ‘we might not know that time alone is what we need to make ourselves feel better,’ Dr. Coplan added.”

Click the image to read a lot more from Higgs.

Alone Time May Be Good
Image Credit: Filip Fröhlich