One of the things that I’ve found over the years is that a sense of humor can really help. Here are a few funny (maybe) quotes. Hopefully, at least a couple will make you laugh. 🙂
These quotes are from Cancer ABCs: [actually, they’re mostly groaners.]
Taken From Actual Doctor’s Notes
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
- Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused autopsy.
- The patient has no previous history of suicides.
- Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
- Skin: somewhat pale but present.
Top Ten Ways To Know You Are A Cancer Thriver
- Your alarm clock goes off at 6 a.m. and you’re glad to hear it.
- Your mother-in-law invites you to lunch and you just say NO.
- You’re back in the family rotation to take out the garbage.
- When you no longer have an urge to choke the person who says, “all you need to beat cancer is the right attitude.”
- When your dental floss runs out and you buy 1000 yards.
- When you use your toothbrush to brush your teeth and not comb your hair.
- You have a chance to buy additional life insurance but you buy a new convertible car instead.
- Your doctor tells you to lose weight and do something about your cholesterol and you actually listen.
- When your biggest annual celebration is again your birthday, and not the day you were diagnosed.
- When you use your Visa card more than your hospital parking pass.